Shhh... Listen... The Voice Of God is Speaking...

I for one am proud that we have a president who has a personal relationship with God. It makes me feel safe. I also envy him. GBW, not God. Well, I guess I envy God, too. He probably never has to pay for parking, for example. But I digress.

I envy GW Bush because evidently God talks to him. They have personal conversations. Me, I'm lucky if God even pretends to laugh at my jokes. I mean, c'mon... throw me a bone every once in a while, Lord.

Once, however, I thought God was talking to me.

It was a couple of years ago, early in the morning. As I lay in bed I thought I heard God speaking to me in his soft, melodious manner (aside: isn't it lucky God speaks in such a manner as opposed to sounding like some 70 year old guy from Queens? That would be grating, what with the "yoose" this and "yoose" that. Or is that Brooklyn? I get my burroughs confused. Thank god God speaks with a good Midwest dialect).

I was all excited until I realized it was just my alarm clock radio going off. Turns out that it was not God but rather radio talk show host Glenn Beck wistfully speaking into my ear.

I hit the snooze button and all was well.

Maybe someone needs to tell George W. Bush about the snooze button.