Various Lost Theories

My thoughts on what may be really happening on Lost:

1. Jacob is Locke, in the future. Or the past. Whatever the point of view may be.
2. The Orchid is the site of the time travel anomaly/machine.
3. When Locke goes into The Orchid in the upcoming episode, he time travels. This is the beginning of the loop that I think everyone on the island is in.
4. Everyone on the island are trapped in a time loop created by Jacob/Locke (see above).
5. It's not that Richard Alpert is immortal, or that he hasn't aged; rather, he's simply a time traveler. He appears the same age he was when he met Locke as a boy and when he met Ben as a boy because he *is* the same age; from his point of view, it's all probably happened in a couple of weeks, jumping back and forth hither and yon in time. We see him look the same as he looked 30 years ago, but it's only been 30 years in our time line, not his. You get the idea.
6. I think that perhaps what viewers call the "flash-backs" and "flash-forwards" may not be dramatic devices at all but actual time jumps, either in the various character's memories or actual real leaps in time. But I could be wrong.
7. There's a chance that the time loop everyone is trapped in varies and branches off into an infinite number of possible futures/pasts. The flight might have actually crashed into the ocean and be lying in a trench in one of these possible futures. It might not have been staged by Penny's dad at all.
8. The Oceanic Six are dead; everyone else survived.
9. Why did that statue have four toes? Easy: The Others (the Island's Original Others) were all fans of The Simpsons.
10. The Island is a ultra-sophisticated prison in the future; all the main cast members are there for murder. Almost everyone has killed someone. Oh, you think Sun didn't kill anyone? And just how did whats-his-name fall out of that 20 story window? The doc? Killed someone on the table. We know about Sawyer and Kate. Locke? Killed his father at some point. Hurly? You think a meteor really is what took out that Action Five news reporter? Jin? He had blood on his hands more than once. You get the idea. They're all serving time in some meta-world prison akin to ST:TNG's holodeck or something.
11. It's all taking place in a snow globe owned by some autistic kid in Boston.

Watching Lost

Things I learned from The Dick Van Dyke Show, pt 1

The Dick Van Dyke Show (referred to as tDVDs from now on), from the 1960s, was my favorite TV show when I was young. It was already in reruns then, on WGN, before it was a superstation. Part of the reason I loved summers was that I got to watch the show every day (except weekends when it wasn't on, dammit), and one of the joys of being home "sick" from school was watching The Petries (along with all the games shows!). Since I was about 5 or 6 when I started watching this sitcom, many cultural references, ideas, themes, etc were first exposed to me via my 12-inch black and white TV and those zany folks from New Rochelle, NY.

In fact, that's the first thing:

1. The existence of many geographical locations and cities. Every time I hear about New Rochelle, Danville, IL, and Schenectady, I of course think of tDVDs . New Rochelle for obvious reasons, and Schenectady because of the episode when Rob writes a joke about a train conductor with allergies. Danville was the hometown of the Petrie boys (and I gather the real-life Van Dyke boys as well). This was the first time I'd heard of either of these cities.

2. The whole Rashomon theme so often explored in TV and movies. You know, the one where you see the same event(s) through different points of view. I first saw this in the episode The Night The Roof Fell In, where we get three versions of the Petrie's spat: from Rob, Laura, and the goldfish. Every time I see this plot device used, even when I finally saw the original source, Kurosawa's movie, I think of tDVDs.

3. Subtitles for movies (their mere existence) and the snobbery associated with them, from The Lady And The Tiger And The Lawyer ep.

4. Vic Damone, the crooner. I went out with his daughter for about 6 months years ago. When I learned who her father was I said to her, "You mean that guy from that Dick Van Dyke episode?!" She didn't even know her dad was on the show. The episode in question, Like A Sister, featured Damone playing someone named Rick Vallone, a handsome crooner who brought romance into Sally's life. I didn't know until I met his daughter that he was a real person and not just a character on some sitcom.

5. The Catskills (their existence), and the fact that many Jewish comedians got their professional start there.

6. Jack Paar. I didn't know he was a real person until years after I watched the reoccuring character of Stevie Parsons on tDVDs (obviously a conglomeration of The Tonight Show's first three hosts, Steve Allen, Paar, and Johnny Carson).

7. The USO. My first exposure to them was on tDVDs in all the flashback episodes that showed Rob and Laura's courtship and early married life.

8. Frank Sinatra. Another crooner. The first time I'd heard him mentioned was on the episode, The Masterpiece, where Rob and Laura inadvertently purchase a painting by Artanis, which they learn is Sinatra backwards. Later in my life, when I again heard mention of Sinatra, I immediately thought "Oh yeah! The guy who painted that clown!".

9. Fellini's 8 1/2. When I first heard of the Fellini movie, I of course said to myself, "Hey! That's like the title of that tDVDs episode, 4 1/2!! ".

10. British Pop Music. Long before I'd heard of The Beatles, I knew The Redcoats, lovable English singing moptops who have to hide out at the Petrie's house prior to a performance on The Allan Brady Show in The Redcoats Are Coming. Again, when learning of the whole British Invasion in general and Beatles in particular I thought back to that episode.

11. The word "bupkis" in particular and Yiddish in general, from the episode Bupkis about a song Rob cowrote years ago.

12. The movie The Wild One and Marlon Brando, from the episode when Rob buys a motorcycle, Br-room, Br-room.

13. Bar Mitzvah. I learned about this religious rite where I learned most of my early information, from the episode Buddy Sorrell, Man And Boy.