The Frogs

So my mom collects a certain type of animal-themed stuff. I won't say which animal so as not to influence you, because I want to ask you, the reader, what you see in the picture below:


My mom has these figurines on her tabletop right now. She has different stuff for every month of the year, and this, evidently, is for May. Okay, now here's the question: What are these figurines?

Do you have your answer?

Is your answer "frogs, Hank, they're frogs"?

What was your first clue? Their green hue? Their three-toed web feet? The fact that many people collect frog stuff and these look like frogs?

Why, you ask, am I wasting your time with this? Well here's the thing: We were having a family brunch the other day and my grandfather looks at the frog figurines and laughs, saying,

"I still can't get over those two black people you have on the table! Hahaha, they look so funny, that black farmer couple!!!"

To make matters worse, my grandmother joined in, agreeing that gee those figurines of representing black people were hilarious.

This bothered me and an argument ensued. Why do you think these are black people, I asked both of them.

"Well, for one thing, they're black colored!"

"No they're NOT, they're green!" I countered in disbelief.

"No, they're black!", they both disagreed. "Well, I guess if you really look at them maybe they're sort of green, but at first glance they're black colored."

"NO THEY'RE NOT, THEY'RE OBVIOUSLY GREEN, AND OBVIOUSLY FROGS!", I sort of yelled, in all caps, in horrid disbelief.

"But they're wearing a bandana! And the one has a fishing pole! Just like blacks!"

My head almost exploded.

"What, only black people wear bandanas? And did I miss the stereotype that says blacks love to fish?" I stammered.

"Yeah, blacks love to fish, and they dress like that in the old books. Look at Huckleberry Finn for example!"

"But Huck was white, for crying out loud!!!"

"But there was Jim, and he wore overalls, too."

"What the hell are you going on about? They're FROGS!"

"Hehehehe... Well, I guess we never noticed they were frogs. We both thought they were black people. Look at the big-lipped mouths."

BrainfryBrainFryBRAIN-FRY.

"But they're GREEN, and you know mom collects frogs, and they have three toes and fingers! You realize how racist you guys are!!"

"Look, Hank, if we showed these figurines to 50 random people from off the street, every single one would see that they were black people. We're not racist, those figurines just look like black people."

"NO, grandpa, of those 50 people, 50 would say they were frogs. Well, maybe there would be one racist amongst them, but even that racist would see they were frogs... frogs that reminded them of black people, but frogs none the less."

At which point my grandparents laugh and shake their head at their dumb grandson. I then complained that my grandmother in particular has always been a racist, albeit a "positive racist", in that she says things like, "Oh, that Avery Johnson is a good looking black man", or "that black woman talks in a very intelligent manner", or "Oh, look at that poor black boy walking down the street. I feel so sorry for him, since he probably has to walk everywhere and has never been in a car". That sort of thing.

At which point she stopped laughing and began to act hurt, as is her wont. My grandfather, on the other hand, kept looking at the frogs and laughing during the entire meal while I seethed.

End of Rant.