Fall From Grace (Part 1)

...in which in the first of a three part series the author, in honor of the upcoming High Holiday, espouses some stuff.

People who have only known me for 20 years or so my find it surprising to believe that I once was what one would consider a highly religious person. Of the Christian faith, no less. Needless to say, I would not label myself in this manner today (though truth be told I'm not the complete atheist that some might think). How did this change come about, you ask? Well, I'll try to explain, but first let me describe myself when I was younger.

I went to a private Lutheran school for Kindergarten and First grade, and loved it. When I went to public school starting in Second grade I carried my Bible with me. I grew my hair long when most of my friends had crew cuts, partly because it was the early 70s, partly because of David Cassidy, but mostly because Jesus had his hair long. Really and truly... I was that shallow even as a child. I truly loved everyone and everything, because it was part of God's creation. Once, when walking home from school in early spring, I happened upon a little twig with a bud about to blossom on the sidewalk. I was so excited about the rebirth of the season and of God's majesty that it represented that I picked it up and carried it home to show to my friends, who proceeded to break it in two and squash the bud, laughing at me.

This Really And Truly Happened.

Once, when playing with a friend of mine in his backyard during a family cook out, my friend saw a couple of ants crawling on the patio cement. He proceeded to stamp on them to much glee. I poured some of my Hawaiian Punch on another ant, wondering if it would drown. Then I felt bad and went to ask my mom if when it said, "Thou Shalt Not Kill" God meant ants, too.

This is a Real Event from my childhood.

Once I rode my bike down the street of another block, a block known to have a house in which Bad Kids lived and congregated. Sure enough, the Rotten Kids were on the porch with rocks, and they started throwing these missiles at me as I rode down the street past them. Why? Probably because my hair was so long. Or maybe because I had a nice green Schwinn Stingray complete with a tall chrome Sissy Bar and banana seat and they didn't, but most likely simply because they were No Good Rotten Kids. Did I pedal away in fear? Did I yell at them? Did I not ride my bike down that same street about three more times? No. Why? Because I knew God and/or Jesus (probably Jesus, because of my hair) would protect me from the Rocks From Naughty Children. And you know what? He did. No rock hit me or my bike. A couple of rocks even somehow zinged through the spokes of my front wheel without hitting anything. This, of course, did not sit well with the Awful Adolescents. They started yelling and saying bad words (did I mention that I never swore as a kid, and that my friends found this very funny indeed, me saying stuff like "drat!!" ? Well, it's true. I didn't) and throwing even harder and faster. Still, I was protected by my Faith in The Lord, and actually smiled and sat up even straighter on my banana seat while I pedalled the Stingray Bike for Jesus.

All of the above is a Factual Anecdote from my Early Adolescence.

You get the point? I was a sanctimonious goody-two shoes with a Bible in my desk. Oh, I got in trouble, I always sassed my teachers and constantly questioned authority. But when it came to The Good News of JC, I was as good and righteous as they come.

So what happened? We will explore this in Part Two.