Fun With Bar Codes

You know why the price of produce is so high? I'm betting it's because of all the extra labor charges incurred by placing little UPC/barcode stickers on each and every piece of fruit. Shouldn't one sticker on the shelf/bin near the fruit or vegetable in question be enough? Apparently not, for at our grocery store each and every tomato, for example, has a barcode sticker on it. Each and every apple. Each and every grape. Well, maybe not each and every grape, but still. It's excessive. And what's more, I often forget to remove said sticker before consuming aforementioned produce. Who needs that.


Then I hit upon an idea.


Why not genetically engineer the fruits and vegetables to have the UPC/barcode grow directly on the skin of said legume, root, or fruit? You know, on the peel or rind. It should be easy, since geneticists have been monkeying around with the gene for melanin in white rats for years.

Now stay with me.

Since melanin effects skin pigments and colorations, why not fiddle with this gene in, say, the banana, so slight discolorations could form the required UPC code right on the skin of the fruit? It would sort of be like a merchant-friendly birthmark if you will. Here, let me show you the banana:




You get the idea? And this would work for other produce, too. Look at this yummy apricot. Juicy and ripe, and what's more, you don't have to remember to take off that damned UPC sticker before you eat it!:

You see what I mean, now? A simple change in one itty bitty little gene coding for skin color can create a bar code that's labor-friendly and tasty, too. Think of the savings!!! Think of the lives saved, since no longer will you risk choking on that gummed little label that has to be stuck on each piece of produce today.

I think this should work.

Remind me to tell you about my related idea of milk that slowly turns green as it approaches the expiration date.