That wacky Alan Keyes

From The Chicago Sun Times, September 2, 2004:

NEW YORK -- Illinois Republican Chairman Judy Baar Topinka said Wednesday her party's nominee for U.S. Senate, Alan Keyes, should apologize for his "idiotic" comment vice presidential daughter Mary Cheney and all homosexuals are "selfish hedonists."

[...]

"In a homosexual relationship, there is nothing implied except the self-fulfillment, contentment and satisfaction of the parties involved in the relationship," said Keyes, who holds a Ph.D from Harvard University. "That means it is a self-centered, self-fulfilling, selfish relationship that seeks to use the organs intended for procreation for purposes of pleasure. The word pleasure in Greek is hedone and we get the word hedonism from that word."

I wonder if this means that heterosexual couples using birth control are also selfish hedonists. Or what about heterosexual couples where one or both are not able to have children. Are they, too, using "organs intended for procreation for the purposes of pleasure" and thus also selfish hedonists?

I'm guessing not. Methinks that such couples get a pass. Assuming, of course, that they're married and God-fearing Christians to boot.

Poor Alan Keyes. He isn't to blame for this. It was of course the media's fault:

Keyes emphasized it was a reporter, not he, who brought up the name of Mary Cheney.

"You have intervened in order to try to personalize the discussion of an issue that I did not personalize," Keyes told reporters at an Illinois delegation caucus. "The people asking me the question did so and if that's inappropriate, blame the media. Don't blame me".

Ah, yes. That wicked, wicked Liberal Media put words in his mouth. You know the mouth: it's never used selfishly in a hedonistic manner in the Keyes household, since there's no chance of procreation that way.