Ask The Answer Man

1. Who Was Jack The Ripper?

I've done a lot of research on the subject, and discovered the answer: He was some dude named Derek Lembarckle. So now you know.

2. Using the 12 notes of the western musical scale, how many hit songs are possible?

Exactly 17,561. Okay, 17,562 if you count stuff by The Knack.

3. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Clearly the egg. The chicken didn't evolve (or "get off Noah's ark" for those of you who believe that the earth is only 6000 years old) until much later than many egg-laying animals. The dinosaurs, for example, were laying eggs for millions and millions of years before the chicken was even a gleam in the eye of the chicken's most closely related ancestor.

4. Who was Woodward and Bernstein's Deep Throat?

Okay, you'll have to trust me, but I knew it was Felt and was ready to tell you years ago when that damned Felt himself beat me to it a couple of years ago. But I could have told you it was him! Really!

5. Is it true that the hand is quicker than the eye?

I'm disproving this right now. If I wasn't so lazy I'd vid it and post it, but I am so lazy. Therefore, let me try to explain: Imagine me blinking really fast. Okay. Now, imagine that while I'm doing that, I'm holding up my right hand and really quickly pressing my forefinger and thumb together and then separating them and then repeating this as fast as I can. You could see that obviously my eyelids can blink at a much faster rate than my fingers can open and close. Ergo, No. The hand is not quicker than the eye.